in 42 days i will be gone
back to a cold, comfortable shape of a home
and to late afternoon walks in snow and running in the frozen air makes the back of my throat taste copper and spit blood. There will be the everything as I left it, the bathroom and slight hum of the washing machine when the house wakes up in the morning. Cold floorboards (i need to be reminded to wear socks) and a thorough emptiness of landscape. I remind me, one is missing, one is missing. And before i go fucking hysterical she takes the razor away again. Mary slips one into your head and you should learn to relax and get a large triple cheese pizza from the corner shop and some salad from the supermarket.